2011年3月9日 星期三
Attutude is everything
Ben was an energetic college student, and all he loved to do was exercising. He was enthusiastic about running since he was a child. In fact, he had won many first prizes in the running contests. Not long ago, he won first prize in the running competition at Olympic Games. As a consequence, he not only became a celebrity but also got a great deal of money. However, accidents happened. Ben ran into a serious car accident and was heavily injured on his way home. When he woke up, he found that everything had changed. The doctor told him that he couldn’t run anymore. So incredible was the news that Ben couldn’t face the music until he accepted his family and friends’ encouragement and company. Ben recovered from the bad wound gradually after several months’ treatment. Nevertheless, Ben’s passion for running didn’t disappear. He kept on working as possible as he could. As he wanted to become the best runner in the world, he exercised to strive for his best and he was convinced that “Practice makes perfect.”Many people were moved by Ben’s perseverance. Thus, the host of the running contest awarded the best attitude prize for Ben. Ben’s attitude toward his favorite thing set a good example for the public. Hence, we can learn from Ben’s bravery and become a man of courage.
訂閱:
張貼留言 (Atom)
However, accidents happened.的意外是不是單數勒?
回覆刪除face the music 很不錯喔!!!學以致用=)
結尾與眾不同~還有教育感!!!
第四張圖也有很合理的解讀!!!很不錯喔~
倒數第四行,“Practice makes perfect”. 句號不知道要不要放進引號
回覆刪除還有the host of the running contest awarded the best attitude pride for Ben是"頒最佳精神獎給Ben"嗎?
然後face the music 真的很棒欸!!
第一句要有連接詞吧
回覆刪除since 要搭配完成式吧
倒數第三行 the best attitude pride(你是要打pride還是prize呀)
And(這個and有多餘的感覺... 嗎??!) we can learn from Ben's bravery and become a man of courage.
However, accidents happened.->Suddenly,~會不會比較好
回覆刪除He was enthusiastic about running since he was a child. In fact, he had won many first prizes in the running contests. Not long ago, he won first prize in the running competition at Olympic Games.
我覺得第二個won first prize可以改成won the championship因為文章中間的文字如果間隔很小的話我覺得還是不要重複比較好
he not only became a celebrity but also got a great deal of money.後面我覺得可以加上as a result of his great efforts.
However, accidents happened後覺得可以加上without anyone's expectation
So incredible was the news that Ben couldn’t face the music until he accepted his family and friends’ encouragement and company.我覺得accepted感覺有點奇怪,好像不應該是用接受這個動詞,我覺得可以改成he was cheered up by his family and freinds' encouragement and company.
Hence, we can learn from Ben’s bravery and become a man of courage. 這句話的結論感覺弱弱的,因為前面寫的很好但到最後一句反而有虎頭蛇尾的感覺
He was enthusiastic about running since he was a child. In fact, he had won many first prizes in the running contests.
回覆刪除覺得這邊用In fact 怪怪的!since前要用完成式吧!
He had been enthusiastic about running since he was a child. When he grew up, he had won many first prizes in the running contests.
可以考慮看看~
第5行的accidents改單數會不會比較好?
回覆刪除不然他好可憐:(
一直發生意外:))